There's no solution yaar, I hate studying, but I have to do it nonetheless to earn to continue to live my miserable life and the fact that I'll never be loved and protected and feel the physical protection from someone who exists in my head. I have literally become effeminate and low t, and because of being low t, I finally understand what women mean when they say they need a man to "protect" them. It's tragic that I find myself in such a state. It truly is, given the fact that I am straight I still require assistance, perhaps, I am looking for a supportive father and nurturing mother I never had, who'd love me regardless of grades and stop comparing me with everyone else. But, I am pursuing a worthless degree from tier 99 kalej, don't even know if I'd get internship or some shit.