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Anon 04/17/2022 (Sun) 04:45:17 ID:c98b8a No. 63
>be me >socially awkward 0 friends autist who can't even maintain eye contact with girls >used to code websites for fun or play games most of the time >perform good in 9th and 10th without even putting much effort >thought I was some genius and shit >also discovered porn during this time >11th comes along >thought exams would be easy but got btfod >couldn't put effort any more after the first failure cuz im a weak-minded faggot >got scolded everytime marks came along. just lost hope and confidence and stopped putting effort >somehow memed myself into joining jee coaching instituition >get btfod there too >got addicted to porn. stopped involving in my hobbies >became more withdrawn and socially awkward while others were getting into relationships and going on dates >felt tired and depressed most of the time. didn't want to go to outside at all >but somehow gather remaining willpower and start studying for muh board exams >did well and got into a good kalej >kalej going to end but still haven't come out of the incel mindset and porn addiction when my peers started getting laid and all sometimes I feel like all this jeeniggering leaves permanent mental scars on some people. i am still struggling to grow out of the phase. i feel like i have skipped some stages in development and that's why i ended up an incel. i can't even talk about it to anyone, even my parents. they are the same emotionally detached, still scolding me for not scoring well on kalej exams. i sometimes fantasize about being socially well adjusted and having friends and hobbies and all the shit. fuck this shithole man. making millions of teens go through needless stress just for some 500 seats most of them will never be able to get. i now understand why we have so many incels in this shithole.
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>>63 Unironically start working out. It would at least improve your self confidence and willpower. >> porn addiction Stop watching porn, fap (if required) using imagination only. Use increased willpower from workout to control porn urges. Listen to this if the urges are too strong: https://depts.washington.edu/abrc/mbrp/recordings/Urge%20Surfing.mp3 Good luck anon, you are gonna make it.
>>63 Feel you. I unironically missed developmental milestones thanks to studycelling. >last time i felt Alive was in 9th grade >studycelled in 10th and 11th (in 10th i would be in class from 1500 to 2030, and in 11th i would attend 2 tution classes + college from 0730 to 2100) would get completely burnt out >thought i was a big shot because of my marks (i picture myself as the smug soyboy in this phase) >really lost it in 12th, couldn't do anything but lay in bed all day, would skip all classes and practicals >being a studycel was the only thing i was proud of, so when i stopped studying i was ashamed to meet anyone's eyes >clear the exam i was studying for >saw the other guys at SSB >so confident, so sure of themselves >fuck >get btfo'd >come home, manage to pass my boards >enginiggering through state CET cell >now that the days pass slower, start to realise just how much time has passed (too much, i was 3 years out of the loop, whatever) >found friends, i was actually becoming socially adept >corona ruined that too I think, act, walk, talk, behave, eat and shit like i never left 9th grade. I don't act like the 21 year old that i am. sometimes i startle myself looking in the mirror because i expect an adolescent staring back instead of a bearded, mustached man. How can I behave like an adult if i didn't grow past 9th grade at all? I didn't live after that age, i just had a miserable existence. Now that i think about it, marks really didn't matter, i sacrificed something much more important.
>>66 everything after 10th grade feels like a void
>>63 Believe it or not, I just had a convo with an ex jee fag, cuz this exam was fucking me up and I wanted some advice on what step to take now. He himself was a student in VIT btw. He is a big extrovert and a rather chill guy, and not the one you'd expect to bag a decent college. Told me about how he went through a worse period at my age, but never got too serious about JEE and stuff. Studied whenever it pleased him, and found ways to relax and cope up with the tensions Only got super serious in last 2-3 months. Wasn't a great student at any point of time And that is where I think students like me fail. Developing a secondary skill or simply having a hobby. I belonged to the toppers group from nursery, and was under the impression that my strong point was """"studies"""", hence never gave much attention to extra curricular stuff. I was wrong, studies are never going to end, I needed to find a way to enjoy life parallel to my studies, which I didn't. I made a vow to not engage in activities that are not related to studies in 11th and 12th (the one I miserably failed at anyway, 12th is gonna start soon). and now I've decided to ignore that vow. Will try to build some secondary skill, ignore the 11th backlog and move on to the 12th syllabus, and find time to relax and enjoy life because I'm only going to have less and less time at hand as I grow up. This is the point where I should learn to manage my cluttered life. So don't take too much load my bros. Make a proper routine, and make sure to not indulge too much into jee prep, assuming you're not actually that enthusiastic about pcm. You will get a fine college, and even if you don't, it won't matter 10 years later, if you are actually interested in the subject. Goodbye
>>72 Good advice, studies should be a minor part of life, and btw if being a topper and first bencher is your source of pride or if teachers say you're "a very good student/very polite/very calm" you're very likely to be doing something wrong. You're young, so behave like a young person, not a senior citizen following all rules, tucking in his shirt, being nice to everyone. I'm speaking from experience. It's good to be sincere (our class topper is a Chad) but you need to learn a thing or two from backbenchers too. >11th backlog I went to a bhangi college filled with gao ke ladke, jhopadpatti ke ladke, etc. More than half the class failed, so they had to promote everyone.
>>82 Majority of the "very good student/very polite/very calm" students are like that because of their home environment and upbringing; authoritarian parenting. It fucks up the children a lot, struggle with being independent and plethora of issues.
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>>87 >project_moar.jpg A very compelling argument. My opinions have now changed.
>>63 Over for jeecels