I had a relationship end, afterwards I was in a deep despair, depression, saddness etc. I was all the lowest emotions on the consciousness map combined and I felt like I was going to die. I was ready to die of emotional pain. And that was for some weeks.
But there was always a little part of resistance in me that tried to push the pain away, but once I gave up to that and was ready to surrender then at that moment I decided to ask help from the universe. Before I thought spiritual people were dumb but the pain cracked that part of my ego and I was ready to recieve.
When I asked for help, my body went into meditation and I lost all control of it, I was simply observing what was happening. I did a standing meditation with deep strong breaths and started to dry vomit and tearing up, for 5-10 mins, then there was a surge of electricity in my brain and I was enveloped in deeeep bliss. With my eyes I could see love, my body was so light I felt I was walking on clouds, almost levitating. At that moment I forgave everyone everything, I could see how everyone has been trying their hardest to live their lives and my pains and hatreds for people dissapeared, I could see their perspectives.
For 3 days I was just soo deep in bliss, and when I went to sleep I went straight into samadhi, I was conscious but only of consciousness. I was completely detached from the body. I was a deep darkness, but it wasn’t scary, but complete wholeness.
Afterwards my ego death started, I have been crying every day for 1+ years now because of the heart opening, past months I have relaxed and stabilised. Sometimes at night my body gets fully electrocuted when kundalini tries to pierce the egg in my head, one time it almost managed and my body started to fill with the liquid light, which was sooo sothing and blissful but it went back down. My nervous system is doing healing to hold more consciousness, it goes in waves.